A week ago Bob and I put out Peck! Have you seen it yet? Go see it.

Because I am now a professional businessman and money-guy we've been selling the source file online for 2 bucks american. It comes with a recording of Bob and me breaking everything down shot for shot, so if you're into that sort of thing maybe buy it!

For some reason a lot of people don't like to talk about how much money they make. What's that about? You hiding something? I am not a hider or liar so here's exactly how much we've sold in the week Peck's been up:

So far we've gotten something like 9200 views between newgrounds and youtube, so about 1 in 550 people who watched the movie bought the source file. Now that might sound pretty shitty, but that's $3.31 for every thousand views, which really isn't too far from a normal ad-based CPM. If you're double dipping with ads AND bonus content (which I am,) you're almost doubling your income.

Now that isn't a totally honest statistic because the first people who see your movie are already your fans, and they're a lot more likely to buy shit (actually three of those payments are friends and family), but I don't have a big following so I'm assuming at least some of these buyers hadn't seen any of my work prior. And I only recognize a couple of the names (that's right, I have your names), so I don't think I'm being patronized.

So obviously I'm not going to make a killing off of 9000 views, but if you're one of these guys who gets 100k-10m views a video, that could be some serious $$$$ ka-ching!!!! And even though it's harder now than ever to break into the big leagues, I still have faith that if you just make something good enough you'll go viral. A prank time just recently got half a million views off a prior following of I think under 10,000 people, so it can still be done. Don't know if I'll ever get there, but I haven't lost faith just yet.

Will I ever do this again? Maybe! But there are a couple of kinks I'd like to work out:

• Paypal takes a huge cut. I think it's 33 cents off every purchase, which if you're selling a product for a dollar is 1/3rd of the profits. Literally the only reason it's 2$ is because that's three times as much money under paypal's dumb rules
• We originally wanted to do minimum 1$ name your price. The hosting guys (Sendowl) have a "name your price" option and I ticked it on the form, but I think paypal fucks it up and you can only ever pay the two dollars even if you wanted to pay more
• Paying with debit/credit cards is weird sometimes and doesn't always work. Once again probably paypal's fault. I wish there was an alternative but almost everyone uses paypal for this stuff so we might be taking a bigger hit by using something else

If you want to get around these paypal scamsters you can send the money directly to elfman_rox@yahoo.com and I'll send you the code directly. Then I'll get more at no extra cost to you (you'll have to wait for me to send the file, though.)

The one other thing is that if you're regularly putting out these bonus things for a few dollars each, people will be able to go back and buy the old ones, too. I don't think it's too unreasonable for someone to "discover" you and then buy every bundle at once. PLUS it was only like two extra hours of work to put the deal together, so there's really no reason this couldn't be a good chunk of your income as a webtoons guy.

So try it! (and buy it!) and watch peck!

For those of you who bought the Peck package, what'd you think? Would you buy another one? Would you pay more if you could?

Thanks,

Peck

I just posted this a minute ago but I forgot to check "front page" so oops!!!!

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/673103

Brewster and I made this cartoon all by ourselves. Isn't that cool?

I'm trying out something new on this one - we're selling the source file on paypal for two dollars (or more if you want to donate.) It comes with a cool hour-long recording of bob and I breaking down the cartoon shot-for-shot. I'm not on patreon or anything like that so if you've ever wanted to buy something or support me now you can!

http://k50p.com/peck

Get it now or we'll start selling dopey-looking shirts that say "it's me peck" on it! Gotta pay those bills somehow! And if that isn't incentive enough, the second I start losing money on that I'm taking it down, so get it while you can. It only costs nine a month to keep it up, but have you seen how many twitter followers I have? It's not gonna last!

In other news I'm going to school still. I like it!

Let's start putting cartoons on youtube but at the end it says "vote 5 and follow <3"

I think it's really great to custom-fit your content for one website and then post it on other websites

One more year! We can do it!

I almost didn't do one of these this year. But then I did! Have I gotten any better? I hope so, because otherwise I just wasted a whole year!

Is it weird to have those "not getting any younger" crisises when you're under 40? Maybe that's how everyone feels when they get to be an actual adult guy but I feel like I'm way too young to be concerned with being too old. Besides, being young SUCKS. You have to go to school! Man was that boring!

This is kind of a waste of a front page space but I just want everyone to know I'm still active. Here's some updates:

• Workin on a cartoon. I think it's gonna be super great. I'm trying to finish it by the end of the year
• Trying to get better at drawing. More on that in my last post
• Going to school for game design. I wrote a big post about that, too, but I took it down because I changed my mind about some of the stuff I said. Now you'll never see it. HA!
• I made some joke art tutorials and one of them got a whole lot of shares on tumblr! Most people thought they were real, which is weird and not what I wanted! Still cool though! my art blog
• I've been doing some PSA-y cartoons for a client to make some money on the side. I just barely made minimum wage this summer! I have no idea if I'm allowed to share these, so here's one of them. It's someone else's job to add the text (something like "don't clown around in meetings"), so my bit alone doesn't make much sense. I think it turned out pretty good though!

That's it I think. Sorry I didn't make anything all year! When this cartoon comes out and it RULES it should make up for everything. If you want to do me a SOLID for my b-day, give me some feedback on that sketchbook thing from my last post. Or just ask me something in the comments! I'm a teen boy and I need your love and attention!

LATER!

Up top- are you an artist? I want your feedback! Details down near the end.

Last night I was looking at some old "tutorials" I wrote a while ago and I still think they're kinda funny so I put them up on my art blog. Speaking of art blogs I made an art blog this year which is now also my website.

But Marty, why do YOU need a website?

Please don't use my first name that's really weird. The thinking was that if I had an outlet for stuff too sketchy/crude to put on the art portal, I'd be able to get more frequent feedback without having to put in the effort of polishing and perfecting every doodle. So the whole tumblr thing worked okay, except for a few things:

1. tumblr is a waste of time

Like just about every other social media platform, it's really easy to lose sight of why you joined, and get caught up in the following and reblogging and stats-whoring. Even though it's less of a time suck than facebook and twitter, checking your analytics is really addicting, and if you're following a lot of people, you might feel obligated to keep up with every new post.

2. "tumblr people" don't give as much criticism

Admittedly, I don't have very many followers on tumblr. BUT I still find tumblr guys less critical than Art Portal guys and I have a few theories on why that may be:

• Because it's social media

Unlike the regulated content on NG, there's too much stuff on tumblr to stop and critique every piece of media you consume. For most people, the extent of their feedback is whether or not they click "favorite." And it might feel good to get those "likes", but it's not very constructive.

• Because it's SOCIAL media

And you've got your image to protect! On sites like NG and DA, things are pretty much anonymous, which means you can be as mean as you like. On twitter, criticizing someone's art makes you an asshole, and you have followers at stake, so you'd better watch what you say. (To clarify, I don't think giving criticism makes you a jerk, but sometimes you get worried that your words could be misconstrued as you being a jerk, so you might never say anything critical ever.) 

3. I'm a perfectionist

And this is actually the MAIN problem, even though the problem is just me and not the tumblr/art blog format. I feel like my art blog has become more of a "best of" than an archive of all my drawings. I don't like to put up art I don't like, and no one wants their feed polluted with every last doodle. As a result, I feel less inclined to challenge myself and more inclined to make stuff that I know will look good. The art that actually NEEDS criticism is never posted.

THIS IS THE PART FOR YOU ART GUYS

So now I'm going to try something a little different- I'm going to take "every last doodle" from the last three months, and put it online for YOU to critique. If you see something that sucks, and you can articulate why it sucks, I want to hear it! Really! Don't hold back - you can find the smallest dumbest pickiest thing and tell me about it. I won't even hate you for it. I can take it. (And if you still want to keep it anonymous, you can use the ask form.)

You can download the "sketchbook" below. If you want to comment on anything (I appreciate it!), be sure to tell me which page you're on.

SWF (just added, no download)

FLA (recommended)

PDF

Or just check out the free art!

Is it weird that I keep updating this blog when I haven't put out any cartoons for over a year now? I don't know how many people read these, but thanks for sticking around. I've got something real great coming out real soon I PROMISE.

Nearly a year ago today I wrote a whole thing about I used to hate everything I've ever made and then that stopped so I thought maybe I wasn't getting any better anymore. Then I started to make a conscious effort to get better at drawing, and now I'm back to cringing at my old art so I guess you could say everything worked out great. Except for the whole part where I hate everything. Let's talk about that.

I can get really critical about stupid shit on the internet, but I hold myself to all the same standards I impose on other people. One of my little rules is I never delete any of my old cartoons 'cause I feel it's dishonest, and I like looking at the evolution of people's work, so I try to keep everything up in its original form. The flip side of that is I can't stand most of my movies from before 2013, so now before I put anything up online, I think to myself "will I hate this in a year?" and usually the answer is "yeah" and then nothing ever gets made.

My theory is that great ideas never come out fully formed. Usually they start as something small, and then you'll sit on it for a while and then you come back and refine it and add some new stuff and eventually something will click, and you'll have your great idea. But if you're too deep into critiquing everything and dismissing ideas as hacky and derivative, you'll end up throwing out your ideas before they have time to grow into something great and original.

Maybe I should revise my opinion on taking down old work. The threat of it eventually turning into something I hate myself for is legitimately starting to censor me. Not a lot of people know this, but I spent over a year working on a video game review show, but I never put anything out 'cause I was never 100% happy with it, and I didn't want it to become another thing I'd kick myself over later. At the same time, if I hadn't held myself to the "never take anything down" rule, I probably would have unpublished "what are the odds" five times over, even though almost everybody thought that was a really cool idea.

Now if I were to take anything down, I wouldn't deny it existed, and it would still be on the wayback machine for anyone who wants to do the digging. And you know what, it would sure be a load off my back to do away with some of these snarky 2011 tweets. (I mean OOF I thought I was a real wise guy!) But I'd feel kinda shitty about it 'cause I've also been pretty mean to people for trying to "hide" their past, and I'd be a real hypocrite to start burying some of the embarrassing stuff.

And I know how dumb it sounds to actually care about any of this stuff, but this has been one of my bigger ideals, and it actually feels pretty weird to think about letting this one go.

What do you guys think?

^not on purpose

As you all know, in addition to being an artistic prodigy and animation machine, I am also a comedic genius. As such, it is my personal duty to maintain incredibly high standards for comedy and impose those standards on other people. You may think I'm joking but I'm not. I am serious.

Satire rules. It's a great way of making people look like idiots for not being "in the know." It also makes you feel smart 'cause you get to extrapolate meaning from deliberate misinformation. While the content can be pretty mean, it's usually a pretty respectful form of writing in that it trusts the audience to read between the lines a little.

usually

Whoof. Love hearing about my "hard earned money." For the record, I haven't worked a day in my life, so you just lied. You're a liar. In case you didn't pick up on the fact that the video is a joke, they remind you every five seconds by referring to their project as "uninspired" and "cheesy." Thanks man I almost forgot you were joking.

This is disrespectful satire. It’s completely unsubtle and treats you like a fucking moron who doesn’t get jokes. It’s insulting. I prefer that at least half of my audience doesn’t get the joke. That way the insiders can relish in how many people just couldn’t put it together.

Here are some “satire cues” to watch out for. If you see any of these, the writer probably thinks you’re retarded and you should stop supporting his content.

1. They literally just tell you it’s satire

You know like when someone ends a sarcastic post with “</sarcasm>.” If you have to end everything with a big “just kidding,” then you’re probably not a very good satirist. Good satire highlights a faulty line of thinking - it’s not just to “fool” people.

2. Typos

The other day me n’ the boys found a Facebook page called “Laughapalooza.” It’s a parody of spammy Facebook pages that combine stolen quotes and images for likes and shares. Here’s one of their latest posts:

Hahahaha! “huge” instead of “hug.” Did you get that joke? I did. I get jokes. Let’s high five and jerk each other off.

Typos are the easiest way to feign ignorance. You can always tell when someone’s in sarcasm mode when they suddenly start making grammatical errors and using incorrect capitalization. Also when they do a bunch of exclamation points with a “1” at the end. Stop that. We were using that bit before 9/11, and it’s time we retire it.

3. They keep making the same joke over and over

Once you get your point across, you don’t need to drag it out for five minutes. Unless, of course, the idea is to waste the audience’s time for NOT getting it, which is very funny. (Side note: this does not include dragging out a joke forever for comedic effect. It was funny when Family Guy did it in 2002. It wasn’t funny when too many cooks was fucking gay.)

It’s fine to elaborate, but you really don’t need to watch “your shitty kickstarter” after you read the title - you already get the joke. In fact, I’m also banning the word “shitty” in titles. YES I can ban things, YES I have the authority, and YES I will be actively enforcing this.

I liked this game better when I made it

4. They explain the joke right after they make it

Nice one! Love that Kenan and Kel.

This example is actually interchangeable with the last one. I guess a lot of people think satire needs punctuation. This is because traditional sketch comedy usually escalates and follows up with the punchline. In satire, there is no punchline, so they just beat you over the head with their agenda.

5.

I think I had something else but I totally forgot it. I’ll let you know if it comes back to me. Anyway, leave me a comment if there’s something I missed or you want to defend Key & Peele or whatever. ALSO QUICK ANNOUNCEMENT I have a tumblr now so go check it out:

http://k50p.tumblr.com/post/108105205354/

Signing off,

-Doofer

*I couldn’t figure out where put this in the post, but I’m also sick of people saying they’re “being ironic.” I don’t know how ‘ironic’ is supposed to be used, but they’re probably botching it.

EDIT they fixed it but you used to be able to do this:

Seinfeld is a funny show!

redacted!

Don't worry, I'll put it back someday.